through my eyes full of pain

i have seen Satan's face,

smiling down like an angelic beauty,

truth is revealed once I untie the cloak's lace,

I have been beaten, battered...

applying balm to my tattered soul,

yet now i see fire raging in my eyes...

a fire to exist, a fire to fight!

I stand up again like a soldier...

to fight a battle which seems lost,

come what may, i'll face any plight,

will take each blow on my chest n will continue to fight...

I'll fall, I'll trip, I'll stand again...

rise like a phoenix, look into the eyes of satan,

and beckon him to unleash whatever he can,

the bottomline remains...

I'll survive, Goddamn, I'll SURVIVE!!!

khule aasman me dekhun to, dhuaan dhuaan sa lagta hai

dil me baitha dard ye jaane kya mujhse kehta hai,

thandi hawaaon ke jhonke kyun kaanton ki tarah chubte hain

sardiyon ki dhoop barf ke keelon ki tarah mujhe daste hain,

rimjhim jo aata hai saawan pyaas aur jagata hai

hansi ka wo chutkula,rula sa mujhe jata hai,

dhoondta hun khushi jo, gam ki dosti hi milti hai

hansi ki jagah chehre par aansuon ki ladi khilti hai,

khila hua phool maano mujhe dekh mujh par hansta hai

is dil me ab koi nahi bas ek dard hi basta hai,

roshni ki ladiyan aankhon me chubhti hai

andhere ki roshni ab apni si lagti hai,

purnima ki chandni kyun tan jalati hai

amavas ka chand ab humsafar apna lagta hai

hey hi...

I hope u read this someday...penning few of my thoughts which are there with me right now when we are going through such a phase which we both are hating so very much...

Today it is becoming so weird that we are not able to talk to each other, small little things create such a havoc that it ruins our friendship,our all efforts...just a few thoughts which may help us remind how important we are for each other...atleast i'll try to pen down how important you are to me...

I was just wondering, after my college when I was really not sure what I wanted to do, what I wanted from life, joining ims for mba just coz my other frnds were doing wasnt giving me any pleasure... bt then u came, n u gave a reason to do well...u inspired me to go for it and do something out of my direction-less life...had it been the same had i not met u in ims??? those classes had never meant me anything had u nt been there!!!thank u for this...

Today, i confess to you, yes those poems i had put in the cd bcoz u knw after years i wantd to write a poem..dat was coz of u...although those poems were nevr aimed at proposing u,coz i had lost any faith in love i had but i just thought i cud share my pain wid u...thought dunno y u'll understand me...n u did... the reply u had given abt those poems in an sms to me while i was in kodaikanal is still with me...this again brought me back to my passion, my poems...thanks!!!its coz of u i can still pen down my thoughts and i want to share everything wid u bt i knw tujhe ab ye sab pasand nahi hai...bt still thanks for bringing me back to my poems!!!

The point at which u entered my life, i was all alone...still am right now...bt at dat point too, was very alone...ravil wasnt there, colg frnds had gone here n there, n i had only vikash for company!!! and u knw very well how trustworthy he is...when we became frnds i really felt that void getting filled!!! these two years have been the best of my life coz u wer there...i cud confide anything in u...i also felt special coz i was so near to u...u trusted me so much!!!had so much faith in me!!!thanks for giving me such wonderful moments...all those long walks had not been special had u not been there...all those auto rides had not been special had u not been there...thanks for all these special memories yaar...i cherish them...

u knw sabse tough kya hota tha wen i joined praxis???colg se 2 hrs ka journey kar ke tere se milne aana n den 2 hrs ka journey karke waapas jana...i knw tere liye possi nahi hai ki tu utne door aaye milne mere se...bt thanks to u,coz of u i nevr felt those distances...tere se milne ke khyaal me 2 hrs ka pata bhi nahi chalta...thanks so much! without u those meetings wud not have been such satisfying...

u have given me the most amazing moments of my life....n i take this opportunity to really thank u...i dunno where we will land up...bt i really want to tell u that u r d most important person for me...n i may want anything bt i dnt want things to end this way..i want to assure you that all i want is your happiness and nothing else...tu jahaan bhi jiske sath bhi khush rahegi i'll be happy...please believe me...m really missing u these days yaar...really...

today my heart felt sad...

dunno why i reached out for a pen and paper

poetry borns in a sad heart

why is that, i wanna know...

is it I want to shre my pain and...i get no one

or is it i feel a sense of achievement,

in penning down my thoughts i can't share!

i know not why poetry flows from my heart,

but everytime it does i pray...

i pray hope i dnt have to write another, but alas! my luck...

it keeps giving me the pain..

i keep reaching out for paper and pen...

every word i coin reflects a part of me,

every word mirrors the pain my heart goes through...

but why do i write i still know not!

people jeer at my pain...

coz for them a poem is a nice assortment of words!!

my fingers too ache, coz i write a lot...coz i get so much pain

i still now not why do i!! what pleasure do i derive!!

but i'll keep doing so...i'll keep writing...

its one time i dare...dare to bring my pain out...

coz i need some space for the new pain i m destined to earn!

i'll keep writing coz i'll keep having pain..

but still the queston remains...why i still with pen and paper...

why do i write!!!

tere liye hi main har khwab bunta raha

tujhko hi raat din main sunta raha

tere naam ka saans le raha hoon abhi

tujhko hi har ghadi main dhoondta raha

jane kis mod pe tu mujhe mil jayegi

soch kar yahi main bas chalta raha

door tujhse ho kar main zinda nahi

teri yaadon me main zindagi dhoondta raha

main jahaan bhi raha

ek tu hi mujh me raha

pyar ki aisi murat na dekhi kabhi

main to har pal tujhe poojta raha

teri har hansi me chipi mere dil ki khushi

tere chehre ki raunak se hai ye dillagi

ek tera hi main bas diwana raha

main jahaan bhi raha tu mujh me raha

main teri yaad me yun jeeti raha!!!

time has flown by

how fast did it travel, I know not

Yet I remember each and every moment

and each is as sweet as fresh honey from pot

somebody here still prays for your time

somebody here still wants you

somebody here is still there for you for free

that somebody is me...

each day and each night

what I pray for is your time

I have stayed away from you for long and now its time

I want to comeback coz when you are not there

my life loses its shine

till these days I accepted everything coming my way

now I need to you to be with me

you know, you are the force that drives me

you are the reason why I still survive

the gift of my life, is a part of your life

that part is the time you spent with me

please allow me the gift, allow me the time

this is the one thing, for which I pray day and night...

when days are hard to pass by

life talks nothing but it lies

I am searching for you, yet again

without you my heart is running dry

you may live happily ever after

but someone somewhere will live life like a tattered soul

you may enjoy all the success of all your life

what will I do, when there is no goal

deceit I what I have encountered till now

don't make me a victim yet again

you have given the lost hope, a new ray of light

don't let me walk alone yet again in rain

I am lost, nowhere to go

you are the one to whom I can come back

memory has cheated me

I can't recollect a single nice feeling

you are the only happiness

left in my rack

I treasure you like no one else would

please, don't leave me all alone

It won't be long if you are not here

for the rest to find

that without you I too am gone...