through my eyes full of pain

i have seen Satan's face,

smiling down like an angelic beauty,

truth is revealed once I untie the cloak's lace,

I have been beaten, battered...

applying balm to my tattered soul,

yet now i see fire raging in my eyes...

a fire to exist, a fire to fight!

I stand up again like a soldier...

to fight a battle which seems lost,

come what may, i'll face any plight,

will take each blow on my chest n will continue to fight...

I'll fall, I'll trip, I'll stand again...

rise like a phoenix, look into the eyes of satan,

and beckon him to unleash whatever he can,

the bottomline remains...

I'll survive, Goddamn, I'll SURVIVE!!!

khule aasman me dekhun to, dhuaan dhuaan sa lagta hai

dil me baitha dard ye jaane kya mujhse kehta hai,

thandi hawaaon ke jhonke kyun kaanton ki tarah chubte hain

sardiyon ki dhoop barf ke keelon ki tarah mujhe daste hain,

rimjhim jo aata hai saawan pyaas aur jagata hai

hansi ka wo chutkula,rula sa mujhe jata hai,

dhoondta hun khushi jo, gam ki dosti hi milti hai

hansi ki jagah chehre par aansuon ki ladi khilti hai,

khila hua phool maano mujhe dekh mujh par hansta hai

is dil me ab koi nahi bas ek dard hi basta hai,

roshni ki ladiyan aankhon me chubhti hai

andhere ki roshni ab apni si lagti hai,

purnima ki chandni kyun tan jalati hai

amavas ka chand ab humsafar apna lagta hai

hey hi...

I hope u read this someday...penning few of my thoughts which are there with me right now when we are going through such a phase which we both are hating so very much...

Today it is becoming so weird that we are not able to talk to each other, small little things create such a havoc that it ruins our friendship,our all efforts...just a few thoughts which may help us remind how important we are for each other...atleast i'll try to pen down how important you are to me...

I was just wondering, after my college when I was really not sure what I wanted to do, what I wanted from life, joining ims for mba just coz my other frnds were doing wasnt giving me any pleasure... bt then u came, n u gave a reason to do well...u inspired me to go for it and do something out of my direction-less life...had it been the same had i not met u in ims??? those classes had never meant me anything had u nt been there!!!thank u for this...

Today, i confess to you, yes those poems i had put in the cd bcoz u knw after years i wantd to write a poem..dat was coz of u...although those poems were nevr aimed at proposing u,coz i had lost any faith in love i had but i just thought i cud share my pain wid u...thought dunno y u'll understand me...n u did... the reply u had given abt those poems in an sms to me while i was in kodaikanal is still with me...this again brought me back to my passion, my poems...thanks!!!its coz of u i can still pen down my thoughts and i want to share everything wid u bt i knw tujhe ab ye sab pasand nahi hai...bt still thanks for bringing me back to my poems!!!

The point at which u entered my life, i was all alone...still am right now...bt at dat point too, was very alone...ravil wasnt there, colg frnds had gone here n there, n i had only vikash for company!!! and u knw very well how trustworthy he is...when we became frnds i really felt that void getting filled!!! these two years have been the best of my life coz u wer there...i cud confide anything in u...i also felt special coz i was so near to u...u trusted me so much!!!had so much faith in me!!!thanks for giving me such wonderful moments...all those long walks had not been special had u not been there...all those auto rides had not been special had u not been there...thanks for all these special memories yaar...i cherish them...

u knw sabse tough kya hota tha wen i joined praxis???colg se 2 hrs ka journey kar ke tere se milne aana n den 2 hrs ka journey karke waapas jana...i knw tere liye possi nahi hai ki tu utne door aaye milne mere se...bt thanks to u,coz of u i nevr felt those distances...tere se milne ke khyaal me 2 hrs ka pata bhi nahi chalta...thanks so much! without u those meetings wud not have been such satisfying...

u have given me the most amazing moments of my life....n i take this opportunity to really thank u...i dunno where we will land up...bt i really want to tell u that u r d most important person for me...n i may want anything bt i dnt want things to end this way..i want to assure you that all i want is your happiness and nothing else...tu jahaan bhi jiske sath bhi khush rahegi i'll be happy...please believe me...m really missing u these days yaar...really...